Further Down the Rabbit Hole [life/video]
"The most important thing in life is love."
-Ozenoz Media
Arguably the most important person at any given time is the person in front of you.
The journey of life is long, and is comprised of the experience of reality as a varied and divinely complex concept that evolves as we do. For instance, when the week “goes by fast” or crawls like there is no end in sight to the hard work of overcoming mental, physical, and emotional barriers to success.
The journey of the spiritual traveler varies in its defined perspective as individually as a person is unique, like every snowflake that has ever fallen. The number of neurons in the brain are as many as the stars in the known universe, a fact that most describes the infinitely diverse duality between the concepts of “fate” and “free will”.
Often I reflect on times that were examples of powerful life events and look to explain, or relate to others what I most wish to be heard. “He who has ears, let him hear”, to me means that some will relate and share, with others the words will fall on deaf ears.
For instance, my life’s path has led me through the straights of the between on a path laden with pain that can only be described as almost “exquisite” in its truth.
As a young adult, I was ridden out of my comfortable upper middle class comfort and alienated from those who I was closest to, or had the most time with. Obviously we all feel like Bob Dylan’s song “Like a Rolling Stone” in this initial phase of being cast out into the world, pushed from the nest, and the song in its deep lyrics also goes on to talk of later situations that our lives can bring. This is that which pushes the boundaries of our strength and resolve.
"Once upon a time you dressed so fineYou threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' youYou used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging around
For your next mealHow does it feel?
How does it feel
To be without a home
With no direction home?
Like a complete unknown?
Like a rolling stone?"
-Bob Dylan from "Like a Rolling Stone"
For me a lot of time was spent homeless.
Shelters offer an escape, but come with pitfalls of their own. Disease, and forced compliance to “…program requirements,” make working or outside improvements to escape the system near impossible. Some shelters take away phone priveleges, don’t allow you leave, trapping you in their efforts to get government funds to make money for their “NOT FOR PROFIT” jobs.
Friends become strangers, family become biased tormentors, and gains of monetary and status elevation are almost a lost cause.
I am fortunate, I am pretty sure of it.
The things I have gained in my life are far from the dreams I knew as a young man, but the experiences and strength are a reward which I could not have even begun to consider I would have today while going through them.
I have a family in my life, I have love in my life, I have peace of mind that I can and will always take heed of the signs that my independent rights are being compromised, my strengths narrowed in perspective.
Never suicidal or homicidal, I have been hospitalized over fifty times for mental illness, forcibly in many ways. I have lived in fifty different shelters, homes, and apartments. I have held fifty jobs, and never once been fired.
How do I feel about my life now?
I feel that these appearances are just that, image. I have the benefit of priding myself in my achievements just as any other person. Because I assert my independence now at all costs.
I feel like I struggle every day still to survive, like the rest of us, but I maintain the belief that we are all truly created equal, and that all lives as humans, are relative.
I realize as I collect further comforts and success, that these hardships will never cease, these hazards will never completely be extinguished. Though they are different in specifics, they are as threatening and willfully hard in experience as they aid the progression of my evolution throughout life.
Never stand for stigma, status rejection, demoralization, or unjust circumstance going ignored.
Stand by you, stand by your time here on Earth, stand by your love, and revel in every loss or triumph as equal gains in the bigger scheme of things. The only constant in life is change, and change the only guarantee. Living for love, and loving yourself both as monster, and model, is the key to wisdom. And wisdom is a gift from above.
You are a gift that you give yourself every day. Don’t forget to unwrap it.
Comments